Put Your Foot Down and Draw a Line in the Sand

3.1.24

Dear Reader,

Lately, I’ve been deeply contemplating the depth of what it means to ‘draw a line in the sand’ when it comes to survivor advocacy, and I thought I’d use this as an opportunity to journal about it in case it resonates with any of you or if it’s a message any of you need to hear as well. I’m going to focus on one topic in particular today: bullying / trolling (and whatever vernacular you want to throw in here that is synonymous with those words)…

One of the non-negotiables on my podcast that I chose to stand by from day 1 is ‘No bullying or trolling or immediate blocking and comment(s) deleted’. I wanted to take the opportunity to share about why this was a line in the sand I had to draw and what the significance of this decision is as you all deserve an explanation - and maybe you can also benefit from the insight.

Believe it or not - it’s actually very significant.

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I had to wrestle a lot in the beginning of creating my podcast in deciding how to take who I am as a person and immerse it into a public platform in order for me to show up true to who I am in real life. The tendency I see content creators and podcasters especially fall into is they create an ‘alter ego’ of sorts to hide behind who they really are, and they wear an artificial mask that is different than who they are as a person. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but especially in the podcast space, many hosts take this sort of ‘domineering’, scripted, and assertive persona that seems really manufactured and not authentic to who they probably are in real life. Like seeing how someone acts in a suit versus wearing gym clothes type stuff. It was important to me that if I were to go all out (or all in?) and discuss unpopular topics publicly that I really try to center myself and lean into who I truly am so I remain centered in my core values when Satan and his minions come out to play. Satan is a deceiver, a thief, and all he knows how to do is copy and imitate God's glory which lives in each of us. Being grounded with knowing who we are and what we stand for is really helpful when met with opposition that tries to confuse or deceive us.

“So who am I?”

One of my personal values I have in real life is a zero-tolerance policy for bullying and abuse of any kind. This was a value I KNEW I needed to implement on the podcast and I had to really sit and examine potential ways that abusive or bullying behavior may present itself and how I could prevent and eliminate it when it occurred. Because I knew it WOULD occur. The most obvious way I could envision having conflicts with trolls was in the comment section as well as in the live chat that plays with each episode’s video premier on YouTube. Trusting that God would lead me with discernment, I decided that I would not tolerate ANY abusive comments and that they would be immediately terminated. This gets harder to keep with as the podcast grows, but I’m really committed to implementing this to the best of my ability so that the line I draw is crystal clear for others to see.

You see, survivors have been bullied their ENTIRE LIVES. When I hear these testimonies, the ‘mama bear’ comes out in me (even though I’m not even a mother - unless you count to my little doggy, Kiefer!) and all I want to do is protect these precious souls. Understanding how MIRACULOUS it is that these survivors not only made it out of their situations, but that that they also broke the programming they were under AND are able to speak on a public platform really puts things into perspective about how blessed and honored we should feel that we GET to listen to them speak, finally. There is just NO WAY I can allow a single other person to treat them the way they were treated their entire lives. If someone cannot marvel at the miracle they are, then my channel is not for them. If someone can listen to one of these testimonies without bullying them, then my channel is not for them. And if the only thing someone takes away from these interviews is something mean to say, my channel is not for them. If someone for ANY reason thinks it’s ok to bully a wounded warrior with UNIMAGINABLE COURAGE to step up on a public platform and share the most vulnerable and horrific things they’ve ever went through… MY CHANNEL IS NOT FOR THEM.

And believe me when I say that I am perfectly fine with not being ‘for’ everyone. I know the right people will organically come along and feel at home - and slowly, they are.

So, this is why I immediately delete every negative comment I come across. It literally cuts open my heart when I see comments from people that are negative. How could anyone have anything negative to say after listening to someone bearing their soul and sharing the hardest parts of their life? Don’t people see that THE PERSON THEY ARE WATCHING SHOULDN’T BE HERE TO SHARE WITH US? Don’t they see that EVERY word a survivor speaks is a miracle to cherish because we aren’t supposed to hear it? Don’t people feel in awe to be watching someone in front of them that survived the impossible? Don’t they see the courage it took that person to get up and speak to strangers publicly about the most horrific things a human could endure and survive?

I digress…

After all these wounded warriors have gone through, I can’t think of a bigger responsibility we have a society than to protect and keep them safe. To be their army. And this means not allowing one more person to perp on them. This means saying ‘It stops here and now'. And we have to mean it. This means drawing a line in the sand when it comes to seeing survivors and whistleblowers get bullied and standing up for them. This means NOT enabling passive bullying to occur. This means not letting ANY bullying to occur.

This line in the sand has to be drawn by each of us. How are we any better than an abuser if we tolerate abuse of any kind being inflicted on our walking miracles and allow strangers and opposition to have a seat at our table?

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I should also mention that another value I stand strongly by on my show is ‘safety’ - which goes hand-in-hand with bully intolerances. Safety means what it implies - that I am providing a SAFE space for survivors and whistleblowers to disclose. This means they can speak out without worry about bullying or abuse - maybe the first time. That they can speak their truth and not have to read the same terrible things they were told growing up in the comments section.

I’ve worked really hard to keep safety contained within my podcast, platform and community and truly spend more time than anyone knows sifting through the hundreds of comments I get each week to make sure my platform is filled with only support and love for the guests - WHICH IS WHAT THEY DESERVE. WHICH IS ALL THEY DESERVE.

I have REALLY learned the difference between straight up bullying and being mean - versus being genuinely curious or voice a concern or question. There IS a difference. And the difference makes all the difference. We need to care about this difference. We need to actively define this difference and act on it whenever the line is crossed.

The really cool side-effect is that this ‘line in the sand’ has created is a culture of listeners, other survivors, and advocates who have stepped up to ALSO care about holding these values and so many of the people who Subscribe to my channel on YouTube are fierce protectors of each guest. It’s really neat. There’s definitely something to ‘leading by example’ and I care about how I am doing this and how others are aligned with doing this in their lives as well. The last thing I ever want is for a guest to look in the comment section of their episode that took them SO much courage to step up and do, and see it peppered with the same abusive commentary they heard everyday of their lives growing up. Because so many listeners have stepped up to embrace this mentality, I have seen such an uptick in others who understand how special kindness can be to someone who never received it and I’ve gotten so many comments from guests I’ve featured on the podcast who say things like, “I went into the comment section of my episode and was blown away by how supportive your audience was / is.” THIS is how it should be. I’ve also seen my loyal listeners get as protective as I am and if I don’t catch a comment quick enough, there’s almost always a listener who found it first who took it upon themselves to write a reply standing up for the podcast guest who is being bullies. It melts my heart to know there is an army of warriors listening to ‘The Imagination’!

I can’t tell you how much this means to me. Kindness is such a simple concept and something many of us may take for granted, yet it can completely change someone’s day (and LIFE) to be encouraged, complimented, cheered on, and supported. Kindness provides safety.

This brings me to the next thing I want to share with you all to hopefully bring more clarity to aspects of my podcast that I don’t talk about often: My podcast introductions…

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I occasionally get comments about how my intros are ‘too long’ (and other comments along these lines) and I want to make it clear that I am aware of this. In fact - it’s intentional and deliberate. One thing I always wished was on podcasts I had listened to was that there would be some brief overview of the guest. Some podcast hosts do this very briefly - which is helpful - but sometimes I’ll watch a podcast with a guest that I have never heard of talking about a topic I’m interested in, and the show will never cover the background of the guest, so I’ll have to research them on my own. To each their own - I respect everyone’s individual style and know that getting right into the show might appeal to a wider audience than listening to a longer introduction - but MY style is to go above and beyond a generic introduction.

When I came to the deep understanding that the guests I feature on my show (survivors, whistleblowers and advocates of unpopular subjects or topics) have rarely in their life heard about why they are so special and important and have only received abuse, I made a decision that part of what I would do for each episode would be to prepare an introduction that would showcase and appreciate the guest in the way they should have always been showcased and appreciated - but never were. These introductions can take me a while to compose as I really dig into who the person is before I meet them, and I personalize what I say to reflect how I genuinely see them. It’s like a little gift or ‘thank you’ I can give to each brave guest for giving me / us their time that - even for a few minutes - can allow them to see themselves through someone else’s eyes who actually cares about them. Show them who they are without abusive interference. Those few minutes for you may seem ‘long’ or even annoying - but what I want for you to consider is how special it can be for someone who has lived a life filled with abuse, neglect, betrayal, and lack of love and healthy relationships to receive just a few minutes of kindness, compliments and encouragement from a stranger. Especially as a precursor to them coming on a public platform to share about horrific things they experienced. It’s become a special part of my preparation work for each episode and aside from how it might positively impact the guest, it makes me feel really good to do little things on my show that make me ‘different’ than other podcast hosts and it allows me to stay true and committed to my convictions and to who I am at heart. This podcast is a labor of love and you can find lots of love in the little details if you look hard enough.

The introductions I create are the antithesis of bullying. It’s setting an example of how we should all be stepping up to treat survivors - and treat one another. And as a side-effect, all of YOU step up in the comments to add to the introductions your own personal encouragement and kindness and it warms my heart! There is truly no community like ‘The Imagination’ community - thank you all for setting the bar so high. I get told all the time how special this community is we have all built and I couldn’t do it or have done it without all of YOU. On a micro level, we are creating the culture that should already exist in the world on a macro level.

These introductions are for the guest more than they are for the viewer. But my hope is that it’s also helpful to give an overview of the episode so you can have a big-picture overview of what will be talked about and some information on each guest. I would appreciate a thorough introduction on podcasts I listen to, so this is also a way for me to bring an element to podcasting that I had always wish others did.

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To summarize my point:

IF WE ARE LOCKED IN WITH SUPPORTING SURVIVORS AND WHISTLEBLOWERS, WE HAVE TO ACTIVELY GO AGAINST EVERYTHING GOING AGAINST THEM.

Period.

If you have any reservations about putting yourself out there to stand up to someone when you see them bullying, I encourage you to really do some self-reflecting and get to the bottom of why you look away or struggle with using your voice.

If you are one of the people fearlessly standing up to bullies out there, I commend and appreciate you and I know every guest on my podcast would say that to you also if they could!

I hope this helps bring some clarity to a few things I do intentionally on my platform and that it helps you ‘get to know me’ better and answers some questions about this you might have.

God bless you all and thank you for making ‘The ImagiNation’ the most incredibly supportive, loving, compassionate, safe, and protective platform that exists for survivors and whistleblowers.

Don’t be afraid to draw lines. Make them deep. Make them count. And hold them.

It’s your responsibility. It’s your duty.

Don’t be someone who does nothing.

God bless you, Dear Reader.

Love always,

Emma Katherine